Missing Pieces
by Hollie47
Summary: Leia finds and looses a missing piece of her heart on the same day.


Heavy. The room felt heavy as Leia stood in front of the large screen watching small dots flashing continuously. Anxious, worried, nauseated, she felt them all. Every time a little dot disappeared for good she felt a weight drop inside of her, a weight full of remorse. Leia knew that the brave men who had joined her did so of their own free will but she couldn't shake the feeling that it was her fault they were out there dying while she was safe inside of an almost empty, slightly darkened room.

Leia felt she worked best with the lights dimmed; it gave her a sense of ease and helped her to relax. A feeling, deep inside of her wasn't allowing her to currently feel anything except something she just couldn't place her finger on. It kind of felt like a hidden memory was being dragged up, or when you need to remember something and it's on the tip of your tongue but you just can't place it. It was mixed with longing, agony, and fear, feelings Leia tried to make herself forget since Ben turned to the dark side.

A sharp pain shot through her head, making her feel dizzy as she stood still. Resting both hands on the platform of the screen, she took a deep breath in and tried to stop the sudden jolts she was experiencing.

"Are you feeling okay General Organa?" Looking up, Leia smiled at the young girl who was kind enough to ask. She didn't want to worry anyone around her. They already had enough to deal with.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking Amelia. I'm just going to freshen up for a few minutes." Nodding her head at those few left in the room, Leia made her way a few metres down the corridor and entered a small room to the right. Locking the door behind her, she rested her head against its coolness.

The pain was intensifying; it began shooting down her neck and between her shoulders blades. It made her heart feel like it was being strangled and slowly torn in half, while trying not to shatter into a million pieces. She knew something was wrong, very wrong. Burning sensations ripped through her body, she felt like screaming out but as soon as it began it was over.

Powerful waves of grief rushed over her, the feeling of something snapping, like an invisible binding, was all too much for her to handle. Leia slid down the door, falling the last few centimetres to the ground, she sat there, staring into the corner, trying to make sense of what had happened. Her mind was fogged over, flashing disappearing as soon as they appeared. She couldn't make sense of anything.

She automatically knew that something had happened to her beloved Han. She knew that she was never going to see him again. She knew that their son had killed his father. But she couldn't figure out what the flashes meant.

Another piece was now missing from her heart. The same feeling as earlier she was now experiencing once again. Two pieces missing from her heart and another one for her son she still hoped she would one day see again, free from the pull of the dark.

Aboard the Millennium Falcon Rey sat in the cabin and watched the stars streak past as they headed back to the resistance base. She felt numb, not once had she ever been a witness to a murder, especially not one where the victim was killed by their own child.

The feelings she felt when she saw Kylo stab Han still haunted her. It made her feel like a part of her was dying and it made her sad, furious, and empty. It was quickly followed by a sharp pain, shooting threw her head, like a really strong migraine that was over in a couple of seconds. Rey could clearly remember trying to hold back her tears while thinking to herself that it was not the time to cry, it was the time to fight.

She felt a connection with Han, she looked up to the man, and saw something inside of him that reminded Rey of herself. The same feeling was similar with Kylo but it just made her shudder and push it deep down, to a place where she could forget about it.

Her mind, she believed, was playing tricks on her. She kept on seeing Han falling off the walkway, plummeting to his death, then the next minute she was seeing a young Han, kneeling down, with his arms open in a lush park. It was like a distant memory that was fuzzy, like it did and didn't belong to her but she couldn't tell.

Shaking the images from her head, Rey moved a strand of her dark hair to behind her ear as she checked the readings on the consoles in front of her. In seventeen minutes they will have made it back to base, and she was already dreading telling Leia of what had happened to Han.

Running over scenarios in her head, Rey just couldn't figure out a way to tell the former princess. She would have asked Finn or Chewbacca but they were both currently elsewhere in the ship. Finn had sustained injuries during his fight with Kylo Ren, and Chewbacca was mourning the loss of his best friend. She didn't want to bother them or make them more upset then they already were.

Kicking her feet up and onto the chair next to her, Rey stared at the stars once again, hoping that time would quickly pass and get them back to the base.

Analysing the display in front of her, Leia saw that the Millennium Falcon was entering the atmosphere and would land in about two to three minutes. Gathering herself up, she took a deep breath in, slowly let it out, turned around and headed out the control room, aiming towards the landing area for the ships.

She was hoping that what she felt was a cruel joke, and that Han would walk out of his ship, making some smartass remark or joke. In a few minutes she would know for sure.

Locking her gaze onto the Millennium Falcon, she watched as it descended and finally landed smoothly on the barren ground in front of her. Waiting with baited breath, Leia felt a weight in the pit of her stomach as the door lowered and landed with a thud, creating a small dirt cloud around it.

Medical staff frantically ran back and forth in front of her, helping the wounded but there was no sign of Han yet. Seeing Rey emerge from the ship, and the look on her face, Leia knew it was true. Han was dead; killed by the evil that had corrupted her child.

Leia watched as Rey approached her with tear-stained cheeks, and all she wanted to do was pull the child close to her and never let her go. A feeling she had long forgotten. Wrapping her arms around the younger girl and pulling her close, Leia felt the feeling that was on the tip of her tongue, and it felt like something was being dug up, painfully, from deep within her mind.

She remembered a lush park, full of flowering plants and bushy trees, a small water fountain in the middle and her two children. Her son and young daughter, Rey, who was just learning how to master jumping over obstacles. Han, her beloved Han, was waiting at the end of the obstacle with his arms open wide, ready to hug his daughter.

Then there was Luke, who was watching Ben, and shaking his head at the two children like something was wrong and had to be taken care of.

Opening her eyes, Leia had tears running down her face. Placing a tender, loving kiss on her child's head, she swore to herself that she would find Luke and make him explain everything to her, or die trying.


End file.
